Join Date: Dec 2013
Thanked 204 Times in 123 Posts
Welcomed 14 Times in 1 Post
Midnight Water Changes
My girlfriend is always saying I am on the computer too much.
It was late and I was tired. I had been reading all about whiptails in the latest issue of Amazonas. Sleepy-eyed I limped (seems I lost a slipper somewhere) to get a glass of water before bed. I half peered into my 15g in the kitchen to try and get a nocturnal glimpse of my Reticulated Hillstream Loach. Too dark. I was going to make a mental note to add some water to the tank the next day so the filter wouldn't be so loud when I noticed it was absolutely silent. I stretched open my eyes and deduced (if you can deduce at midnight) that the silence was coming from my spraybar that doing nothing - not even a tear. I groveled underneath the tank and noticed it had become unplugged. Easy fix. I went back into the livingroom to finish my water.
Upon returning to the kitchen I made another mental note to remind the dishwasher (me) to wash the dishes in the morning as the rotten egg smell was horrible. Very odd considering there was no dishes in the sink. My eyes opened wider. I turned to look at my tank and crept closer. The smell got stronger. I took the cover off and peered in... HOLY HYDROGEN SULFIDE BATMAN - THAT STINKS!!
Jumping into combat mode, I ran outside to the garage to get my python; drat, I forgot to bring the garage door opener. I ran back in and grabbed it and ran back outside, losing my lone slipper and almost falling into a poisonous 3 foot euphorbia succulent. Unable to get my python down from the rafters (because the previous day I thought it would be cool to string it over the rafters to drain), I set up my ladder and leaned precariously over the car to get my python. More than once I had to pull up my jammies that got stuck on the ladder and kept getting pulled to my knees. I had no idea a how cold an aluminum ladder could get in an uninsulated garage over night. Finally, with python in hand, I fled to the kitchen to begin CPR immediately.
Vacuum end in tank, other end to...um...er... Hmmm, I never used a python on this little tank. I ran out to the deck, where due to some BBQs the last week, and some wind, a few small piles of ash were right outside the door. I slipped and slided across it to the wet grass, heaved a merciful suck, threw the hose end down, and paraded back across the deck. Fish still seemed to be swimming. Celestial danios still swimming, Otos still stuck behind their rock. Loach probably spying on me. ISN'T THERE ANYTHING FASTER THAN A PYTHON?!
With 95 percent of the tank water gone, I began to commence filling the tank. Not that simple because I usually used a bucket that I can't find and the kitchen sink has one of those pull out thingys that requires an adapater I don't have. I muck around outside (going through damp grass and ash again) in the dark to where the outside hose connects and connect my python and turn on the water a trickle. Note to self: even in Southern California, in January, at midnight, tap water is VERY cold! As the tank slowly fills, I fill a pitcher with hot water and slowly trickle it in. This isn't so bad, I thought. But I was forgetting something. Conditioner! The one I am out of and need to order more of. YIKES!!
I run to the garage scrounging for my Amquel bottle... where is it? I was pretty sure there were a few drops left... maybe even a tablespoon... I only needed 1 1/2 teaspoons tops. With smiling acaras upon me, I have enough conditioner to treat the tank. I jog back to the kitchen, treat the tank, and all is well. A few more juggling of pitchers of hot water, and I'm done. Back through the ash and damp grass, disconnect the hose, put everything away, and its finally time for sleep.
As I get in bed, my girlfriend says to me, "always on the computer, couldn't you come to bed earlier?" I start to explain but she turns away and says, "whatever."
The following morning, (as in a few hours ago) I (and my stepson) am awakened by girlfriend's yelling coming from the livingroom. "Where did all this dirt come from all over my floor?! It looks like a stampede of horses ran back and forth between the livingroom and kitchen all night. Who did this?!
I of course, respond first. Hiding half my head under the covers, I say, " It wasn't I, honey. I was on the computer."
Then I realize if that wasn't bad enough, she's really going to be upset when she sees how dirty the sheets are...
I'll let you all figure out the morals of this true story. I'm planning on washing the sheets as soon as I get home - a very suspicious act in and of itself.